Maternity Leave Musings
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big preacher and believer of “self-care” and creating space for oneself. Do I always practice what I preach? Kinda… In my tarot reading with Amy Kuretsky yesterday though, this message came up that it’s okay for me to prioritize myself for a minute. I so intellectually know this and I know that it came up in the cards for a reason and that there’s some shame and guilt around it for me. Well played, Universe– you got me.
As I’m transitioning to human mother, my role on this planet is shifting and while I will absolutely show up for my babe, I want to remember that it’s cool to ask for help and create space for myself. (Afterall, my kick-butt MIL just retired and has offered her child care services) But damn the guilt! I even feel weird about dropping my dog off at my in laws this week (per my partner’s suggestion) so I can do what I do. Lucy the dog loves having me at home and when I go out, I feel so bad for leaving her. Letting my in laws relieve me of Lucy care these past few days has allowed me to venture out and get into my flow.
Do I still feel a little guilty for living my best life? Hell yes? While I’m tempted to judge it, I’m going to try to get curious about it and notice it– no judgement. But for real, who the hell am I to get to do whatever the fek I want while my husband works and what not (ok ok, just going to notice- and get curious– thanks to my coach Nicole Jackson Miller for the reminder that when feelings come up that it’s cool to notice without judgement and get curious)
(Admittedly, I think I may be feeling a certain way because of codepency stuff– it can be damn addicting to feel needed by my dog and family– yet we know rationally that we show up as our best selves for our people when we ourselves are cared for. No judgement- just observing these patterns and practicing challenging them)
Here’s some evidence I’ve gathered that allowing support and help has been really awesome:
Wednesday (after dropping off Lucy at my in Laws)
I felt so in flow when I was writing, uncovered some really necessary truths that are getting me closer to healing and being a better partner. A lot of good shit happened.
I suppose ( needed to write some evidence and reflect why accepting help and sinking into space for yourself is so good– and we can be aware of the guilt or feelings and get curious about it. After these 2.5 days, I’m feeling more myself and doing things I haven’t done in ages (like writing and healing some shit).
Sometimes it’s about practicing what I preach 🙂
Somehow, I feel that there is a paralell between allowing space and support in your life AS WELL AS in business 😉
Thanks for reading. Let me know if any of this resonates with you!